


The Wrong Pirate

by padfootagain



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 19:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16980171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: After getting drunk at a party, you do a terrible mistake, and Ben is not sure he can forgive you this time.





	The Wrong Pirate

**Author's Note:**

> Angst angst angst, be careful! Hope you like it!

You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. You had fucked up. Like… really fucked up. You had drunk too much alcohol the previous night and kissed the wrong guy. Even now, you couldn’t possibly understand how you had mistaken this guy with Ben. Alright, they had the same pirate costume, and they had around the same height and weight, and they had brown eyes and dark hair and a beard…

You swore to yourself never to drink a single drop of alcohol ever again.

You raised your hand and knocked on Ben’s door, taking another deep breath. You were so nervous about this… You needed to convince him to give you another chance. Because the truth was… you loved him. It was too early into your relationship to confess that to him but it was the truth. You loved him. And you couldn’t lose him.

You heard him walking to the door, but he didn’t open it.

“Ben?” you called.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Y/N,” he said coolly.

“Please… I’m so sorry. I know I fucked up. _I’m sorry._ ”

“You kissed another man!”

There was so much pain in his deep voice… he sounded like he had been betrayed. And you knew that you had betrayed him the previous night…

“Ben… please, open the door. I can’t talk to you like this.”

“That’s perfect then, because I don’t want to talk to you.”

You heaved a sigh, desperate already, and when you spoke again, your voice was begging.

“Ben, please… I don’t want to lose you. I know I fucked up. I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was doing… But you’re the only one in my heart and mind so please… just give me five minutes. Five minutes, not a second more. And if I can’t convince you to stay with me then… you can break up with me. But just give me five more minutes, please, Ben…”

You heard the door being unlocked, and a second later, Ben was standing before you. He was wearing an oversized T-shirt, and a pair of sweatpants, his dark hair disheveled… Clearly, he had not slept at all last night.

You handed him the bouquet you had bought for him, an apologetic smile on your face, but he didn’t take the flowers.

“Five minutes,” he said, letting you enter his flat.

You nodded, entering his welcoming home. You put down the flowers on his table, before turning towards him again.

“Ben, I’m so sorry,” you said again. “I was completely drunk last night and I wasn’t conscious of what I was doing…”

“You kissed another man!” he spat through gritted teeth.

“I know… He had the same costume as you, and… I thought it was you and I didn’t think at all…”

“You really want me to believe this?!” he asked, furious now, his voice raising more and more by the second. “You thought this guy was me?!”

“Yes… He had the same costume, and the same hair, and I saw only his back at first… and when I called for you he turned around and I didn’t take the time to look at him and I just… kissed him. But I wasn’t aware that it wasn’t you and I pushed him away as soon as I realized that I had made a mistake.”

“This is completely crazy.”

“I know. I know but it’s the truth and I’m sorry but I was drunk and… Ben, I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t just… act as if it never happened,” Ben shook his head, his eyes shining with withheld tears. “I can’t trust you like I used to.”

You nodded slowly, looking down at the ground.

“Perhaps you could… just give me a chance and… you know… not with things back as they were but still…”

Your voice broke, and he heaved a sigh.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” he said, rubbing his cheeks.

 _“I wish there was a way to repair what I’ve broken_ ,” you whispered.

“But I’m not sure that it’s possible. You don’t remember what happened after I caught you red-handed, do you?”

You frowned slightly, silently encouraging him to continue.

“After you kissed this guy, we had a fight,” he said slowly. “You said I was overreacting. You said… you said very mean things, Y/N.”

“I don’t remember,” you admitted in a breath.

“You said I was talentless and pointless and that I was not worth much anyway,” he said, tears shining more and more in his eyes.

You shook your head.

“I don’t mean that. Ben, I don’t think that way of you at all…”

“I’m sorry, Y/N… but… _You’ve fucked up. And there are words that you can’t take back.”_

“Ben, I don’t mean that. I don’t mean that at all, you’re… you’re wonderful.”

But he shook his head, crossing his arms before his chest and looking down at the ground, shifting his weight from on foot to the other. It was back, this defensive behaviour of his, the one you thought you had vanquished after months of relationship…

But you were back at the beginning clearly.

“Ben… What can I do? What can I do to make you see how much I care about you, how much I wasn’t myself last night? I know I fucked up…”

“I can’t do that,” he said slowly, shaking his head again, his arms still tightly pressed against his chest, his dark hair falling in front of his face. “I can’t trust you anymore and… it’s killing me.”

“I never meant to hurt you, I was drunk that’s all…”

“The fact that you were drunk doesn’t explain everything, it can’t be an excuse for everything that happened last night.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“Perhaps you should have thought about that before sticking your tongue into another man’s mouth, and then insult me as if it was all my fault!”

You stared at him for a moment, unable to move, unable to think, unable to speak and even… even unable to breathe.

That was it, you were losing him. And he was right to break up with you.

You silently started to cry, the salty droplets rolling down your cheek, and you saw Ben’s eyes follow them as they crossed your face.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed. “I’ve never… wanted all of this to happen. I… I know you probably hate me already, and now that I know what I’ve done I… I can’t hold it against you.”

You sniffed, trying to force the words to pass your lips despite your tightened throat.

“But I need you to know… before I leave and… before I… before I give up that…”

Your voice broke and you were shaken by a sob. But you forced yourself to continue anyway.

“ _You’re everything to me,_ ” you went on, and you saw him slowly uncrossing his arms, letting them fall back by his sides. “You’re the most… wonderful and gentle and funny man I’ve ever met and… I was so lucky to have you. Looks like I always find a way to break everything I touch, right?”

You were shaken by a sob again. You could distinguish through the veil of salty tears before your eyes that Ben was crying too now.

“I’m so sorry,” you said one more time. “I never meant to hurt you. You deserve the best in this world. And I can understand that you’re through with me, that I did something you can’t forgive, I understand but… I don’t want you to think that I wanted any of this to happen. Because you were the only one, you still are. And you’ll be for a long while, even if we’re not together anymore. Don’t think of me as someone who meant to hurt you. Because I never meant to do that, I wanted to make you happy. I’ve never meant to hurt you. I love you, Ben.”

Here, you had said it. You had spoken the three words that you had kept for yourself until now, and you saw Ben slightly parting his lips in shock. You guessed that you had lost all that was left of your pride. But the truth was, you didn’t care much about your pride, you didn’t care much about anything really. You had lost the man you loved, how could you care about your pride?

“Goodbye, Ben,” you breathed.

You walked towards the door, but as you passed next to him, Ben grabbed your arm, stopping you. You turned towards him again, but he wasn’t looking at you.

“You really mean that? You’re not drunk anymore, right?”

You smiled.

“No, I’m not drunk. I have a bit of a hangover, but nothing more. I know what I’m saying this time. I promise.”

He sniffed, holding your forearm a bit more tightly.

“Really? You mean that?” he asked one more time, looking at you again.

You nodded slowly.

“I love you, Ben,” you repeated.

He closed his eyes, heaving a sigh.

He had to make a choice, an important one… And his heart and his head were advising him to take opposite decisions…

“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispered, looking up at you.

You closed your eyes, a new sob shaking your body. But there was a smile on your face as well.

“You do?” you asked, staring at him again.

He nodded, and your smile widened. But after just a few seconds, it disappeared completely.

“Give me a second chance… Ben, please…”

“I… I don’t know…” he breathed.

You nodded slowly.

“If you need time, I can give you some space, wait for you to come to a decision,” you proposed.

“It’s just… the reasonable part of me says no. It says to stop all this before you completely break my heart. But… the rest of me doesn’t want to let go…”

“I won’t break your heart. It was my first and last mistake, I promise. I used my second chance on last night, and I won’t ask you for another one. I’ll make sure never to have to ask something like this from you ever again. Ben, please you’re… _You’re more important to me than my own life.”_

He kept on staring at you for a while, his intense brown eyes fixed upon you, piercing through you until they could reach your very soul.

But then his lips curved into a small smile.

“You know, Y/N… _You’re a sweetheart when you don’t act like an arse_.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and he let out a chuckle as well. It felt strange and good at the same time to laugh with him.

“I have a talent to spoil everything,” you said, growing more serious again.

“I feel…. I feel like I might regret this one day but…”

He turned completely to face you, and his hand came to cup your cheek.

“I’ll need some time,” he said slowly, staring intensely at you.

You nodded.

“Alright then. I can do that.”

“I… I can’t promise you that things will be back like they were before all this happened.”

“We’ll just see how it goes,” you shrugged.

“I’m not… You’re not forgiven yet,” he warned you.

“Sounds fair enough.”

“But I guess… I guess I could try… I reckon we all deserve second chances, right?”

You smiled, nodding.

“You’ll have a second chance too, you know?” you joked.

“Don’t tempt me, I might want to hold you to your word by kissing another girl and then begging you for mercy.”

You both chuckled, and he looked down at his feet, his thumb brushing softly against your cheekbone.

“You really thought this guy was me?” he asked in a breathy whisper.

“Yes,” you nodded. “You had the same costume and the same silhouette and… I didn’t even look at him to be honest. But then I understood that he wasn’t you and I stopped.”

“How did you know it wasn’t me if you didn’t even look at him?”

“I know the way you kiss, Ben.”

He looked up at you again. He seemed hesitant still, although he had taken his decision, and he didn’t want to change his mind. Because the truth was, he didn’t want to lose you, despite everything that had happened the previous night… He was still in love with you. And it hurt him, it was painful. But he couldn’t help it. You were like a magnet his heart was attracted to, and he couldn’t control the way you made him feel.

“So… are you breaking up with me?” you asked softly, and there was fear in your eyes.

But Ben shook his head.

“Not for now,” he breathed. “For now we try to overcome this, okay?”

You nodded enthusiastically, a grin forming on your face. He shrugged.

“It looks like even if I wanted to… I just… _I can’t live without you._ ”

You couldn’t control yourself when you threw your arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly against you.

“I’ll make you forgive me, you’ll see,” you breathed, and your voice sounded like a vow.

He smiled against your hair, wrapping his arms around you as well.

“Don’t make me regret this,” he whispered, his lips resting against your ear.

“You won’t regret it. I promise.”

He heaved a sigh.

“All the crazy things you make me do…”

“You make me do crazy things too,” you replied. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent to find flowers on a Sunday morning?”

He laughed, looking at the bouquet.

“I hope you like them at least,” you added.

“Why do you think I’m giving you another chance? It’s 100% because of the flowers.”

“I thought you’d like them.”

He laughed, dropping a tender kiss on your forehead.

“I do like them actually. Although… there’s something else that you could do to make me forgive you.”

“Really? And what could that be?” you asked, looking up at him as you rested your chin on his chest.

A mischievous grin appeared on his face, and he bent slightly to lift you up, making you laugh. He slowly started to walk towards the bedroom.

“So… sex is your weakness?” you asked, brushing your nose against his.

But he shook his head.

“Love is my weakness.”

You smiled, your fingers stroking his beard, before leaning down to kiss him…

… And your lips remained sealed for a very long time…


End file.
